In case you’ve ever wondered…………….{this is borrowed}

“What’s it like to go through cancer treatment? It’s something like this:

One day, you’re minding your own business, you open the fridge to get some breakfast, and OH MY GOD THERE’S A MOUNTAIN LION IN YOUR FRIDGE.

Wait, what? How? Why is there a mountain lion in your fridge? NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. RUN! THE MOUNTAIN LION WILL KILL YOU! UNLESS YOU FIND SOMETHING EVEN MORE FEROCIOUS TO KILL IT FIRST!

So you take off running, and the mountain lion is right behind you. You know the only thing that can kill a mountain lion is a bear, and the only bear is on top of the mountain, so you better find that bear. You start running up the mountain in hopes of finding the bear. Your friends desperately want to help, but they are powerless against mountain lions, as mountain lions are godless killing machines. But they really want to help, so they’re cheering you on and bringing you paper cups of water and orange slices as you run up the mountain and yelling at the mountain lion – “GET LOST, MOUNTAIN LION, NO ONE LIKES YOU” – and you really appreciate the support, but the mountain lion is still coming.

Also, for some reason, there’s someone in the crowd who’s yelling “that’s not really a mountain lion, it’s a puma” and another person yelling “I read that mountain lions are allergic to kale, have you tried rubbing kale on it?”

As you’re running up the mountain, you see other people fleeing their own mountain lions. Some of the mountain lions seem comparatively wimpy – they’re half grown and only have three legs or whatever, and you think to yourself – why couldn’t I have gotten one of those mountain lions? But then you look over at the people who are fleeing mountain lions the size of a monster truck with huge prehistoric saber fangs, and you feel like an asshole for even thinking that – and besides, who in their right mind would want to fight a mountain lion, even a three-legged one?

Finally, the person closest to you, whose job it is to take care of you – maybe a parent or sibling or best friend or, in my case, my wife – comes barging out of the woods and jumps on the mountain lion, whaling on it and screaming “DAMMIT MOUNTAIN LION, STOP TRYING TO EAT MY HUSBAND,” and the mountain lion punches your wife right in the face. Now your wife is rolling around on the ground clutching her nose, and she’s bought you some time, but you still need to get to the top of the mountain.

Eventually you reach the top, finally, and the bear is there. Waiting. For both of you. You rush right up to the bear, and the bear rushes the mountain lion, but the bear has to go through you to get to the mountain lion, and in doing so, the bear TOTALLY KICKS YOUR ASS, but not before it also punches your wife in the face. And your wife is now staggering around with a black eye and bloody nose, and saying “can I get some help, I’ve been punched in the face by two apex predators and I think my nose is broken,” and all you can say is “I’M KIND OF BUSY IN CASE YOU HADN’T NOTICED I’M FIGHTING A MOUNTAIN LION.”

Then, IF YOU ARE LUCKY, the bear leaps on the mountain lion and they are locked in epic battle until finally the two of them roll off a cliff edge together, and the mountain lion is dead.
Maybe. You’re not sure – it fell off the cliff, but mountain lions are crafty. It could come back at any moment.
And all your friends come running up to you and say “that was amazing! You’re so brave, we’re so proud of you! You didn’t die! That must be a huge relief!”

Meanwhile, you blew out both your knees, you’re having an asthma attack, you twisted your ankle, and also you have been mauled by a bear. And everyone says “boy, you must be excited to walk down the mountain!” And all you can think as you stagger to your feet is “Screw this mountain, I never wanted to climb it in the first place.”

And now I begin my second trip up this Mountain ⛰😠😠😠
“Words of a FIGHTER” -Caitlin Feeley

This week was crazy!  We were ready for Chemo on Wednesday 1/9/19 and anxious to kick off this year of battle.  The plan was to meet with Big Nanner our NP to catch up, talk about some symptoms and then get chemo.  In that meeting we talked about his blisters on his feet that had peeled off and got her recommendation for taking care of his feet. Talked about rib pain, she was so happy with most of his test results and the weight he gained.  She raved about how he looked great.  He mentioned a sore in his mouth and ***insert record scratch here*** she looked it over and was very worried because she had a patient who had a really bad jaw infection.  From the look on her face that did not end well.  She said she would likely take away Avastin- the tumor killer- since it seened to be affecting his mouth.  The action plan was to go to the dentist next to get that checked out and then we’d proceed.  Big Nanner addressed his low ANC {which is the new White Blood Cell growth} because it was low again.  That number is why he didn’t get chemo all of December until Christmas Eve.  She said the financial lady was checking into approval for the shot called Neulasta that would force the production of new WBC and needed approval since it was $14,000!! Woah magic in a shot apparently!  With that shot his numbers would go from a low of .80 to 25000!  While it is an answered prayer the side effects will be large bone pain…I’m hoping that will be mild because he’s really had very little pain during this process!  Our meeting started out on a high and ended with two action items before he could get treatment and come to find out Blue Cross was in an all day training so there wasn’t anyone to approve the shot…yeah…no one to approve a shot for a cancer patient needing treatment {not bitter about that at all….grrrr}!   It was a confusing flurry to leave with the slow realization that we were actually sent home again…damnit!  They said something about coming back next week and we could rprot back after he saw the dentist.  We were both a little stunned and a little freaked out by the mouth thing and how much of a delay that might be.  Thankfully the scheduling lady, Leslie, overheard the situation and said we might be able to come back this week but first we needed to go see the dentist.

With the rejection comes the walk of shame out of the clinic. We stand up, I fold up my blanket, grab the 3 bags and my coat and we shamelessly walk out with our tails between our legs.  It is a collective bummer when someone gets sent away because of bad numbers, everyone feels great empathy for each other no matter what is going on because we all root for each other.  I know we both were like “WELL FXXK this is how we are starting this year?!”  Brad got on the phone and the dentist was ready for him to come right then so we raced over there straight from the clinic.  Thankfully he was cleared by the dentist for anything major and just had a little bone spur removed.  GREEN LIGHT!  I called the clinic and said the dentist said his mouth was fine and could we come back, it wasn’t even noon for God’s sake! They needed a fax from the dentist and still needed that approval for the shot. They couldn’t give him the chemo if there wasn’t shot approved and they didn’t want us to get stuck paying $14k either.  So we went home.  Brad was not happy…during the conversation with Big Nanner she also expressed concern for glucose in his urine and wanted a diabetes test.  She said he could just do that whenever, it wasn’t pressing.

The next day I went to work ready to throw myself into getting stuff accomplished so I wouldn’t have to think about the frustration of the day before.  After a few meetings I called the nurse and Leslie the scheduler called me right back to ask if we could come NOW!  While I was driving back home Brad jumped in the shower and we met at the clinic.  I walked in to a very frustrated husband.  He was mad at the situation, mad at getting kicked out because of a dumb mouth thing, mad that he rushed over only to be sitting in the lobby for 20 minutes and just flat out over it.  It was no surprise when his blood pressure was elevated but they said they would treat him.  He got all hooked up and the pharmacist came up and said, “I need another blood pressure reading.”  That is code for “make that man relax to get a good reading or I’m raining on your chemo parade today.”  The manufacturers have strict guidelines and blood pressure is one.  He’s had to fight that battle a few times and is learning how to make himself relax enough to lower it.  He did a very good job and mediated for a few minutes and got a “beautiful”
reading.  We had another start/stop to make sure the shot was approved…it was so the green light stayed lit.

From all that we’ve gathered the same plan they gave us at the end of November after the 2nd scan is that they will go for three months then re-scan.  He needs to make it through the next 2 and 1/2 months then we get to see where we are.  For now my prayer requests are for him to keep feeling “fine” with minimal pain and side effects.  I’m glad we have a new weapon on board with the Neulasta shot but with that means more brutal chemo effects.  I have faith God is 100% in control and guiding us down this path hand in hand.  We have a lot of good distractions with the kids doing all of their fun stuff.  Whitney has dance competitions including State on Feb 22 & 23 and Russell will have soccer tournaments in town and out of town in St. Louis and near Chicago.

Have a good weekend, we are getting snow and look forward to hunkering down to watch the Chiefs in the NFL playoffs!  Carter and Russell are in charge of Brad’s pump removal at KU Med tomorrow while Whitney and I work.  That should yield some funny stories with those 3 musketeers taking on that mission!!