Short Fuses and Winning–Ying and Yang

With caution I’m super excited about our progress after Chemo #2 on 10/15.  We set goals and made sure to take advantage of energetic times and get Brad the rest he needed when his energy needed to be refueled.  Going into the weekend without any experience after Chemo 1 and knowing what to expect and avoid after Chemo 2 is night and day difference.  For now we are just focused on nutrition and rest and enjoying a week with no appointments.

I’ve been reflecting on everyone’s needs and how they collide at times.  I think everyone sees when I’m at my breaking point.  My typical solutions is to pretty much run for the door to go run an errand or anything outside of my house to get some non-cancer related fuel in my body and mind.  I hope soon I’ll incorporate weight training and stretching because I feel like my muscles have shortened from the stress pulling on them from head to toe.  Ugh I need to release that stuff asap and get rid of these aches and pains!

So with the kids…I’ve been trying to watch for trouble signs and they pop up in different forms and different times.  I remember seeing moods and behavior in other families dealing with cancer and now see similar behavior around our house.  I remind myself that they are suffering from the weight of all this along with normal trying to grow up kinds of things.  I just pray they aren’t impeded by this stress or thrown off their trajectory because they were all on a really good path prior to 9/15/18.  My main objective is to keep them as close to that same path as possible.  I try to remind myself, Brad and each of the kids that it is ok to feel “off” or have to have some mental health breaks however they need to get it but then also get back to that place of focus.  I remember being a teenager and how hard and stressful it was.  The thought of putting all of this on top seems suffocating.  I had my own suffocating circumstances and came out strong than I ever would have so I know they can too.  Bad moods aren’t such a bad thing and we need to give each other time and safe places to release that negativity so it doesn’t stay bottled up.

Going into this week I’m hoping for less short fuse situations, more Zen time and using this seemingly light week to get some rest.  We also have to do list items to get checked off before the whirlwind of family visits starting with Whitney’s Alice In Wonderland ballet and then the holidays.  Brad spent a lot of Friday picking out a new vacuum so that should help out with the to do list especially since everyone has actually been excited about using it!  GENIUS!!  New Vacuum = People Using it Besides Me!  Write that one down in your book of tricks!

We had a beautiful Fall weekend and took advantage by taking a few pictures when we went to visit Carter for his 19th birthday which is coming up on Thursday!  I wanted to take a bunch of photos all over Lawrence among the beautiful trees….but energy, moods and lack of showering for some made it not the ideal time for a photoshoot.  Whitney and I literally jumped out of the van on the way to the grocery store on Sunday and took some on a side road that I’m pretty sure isn’t really supposed to be driven on but we made it work.  So, check that off the list…fall pics with pretty trees CHECK!

 

 

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